1. |
Tremuous
03:42
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i don’t deserve
these arms that i keep like a sheath to my side
i don’t have the words
for a meaningful sigh as i try to hold tight
am i holding too tight?
talk to me my shadow, hold me close
hide my head when i am in your throes
toward this night, i stand and faintly shout
you are the light of the moon, and i’m merely a cloud
neutral gear
drawn and decayed, every day it’s the same
i’m barely here
and i wish i could care, but it scares me to try
maybe i’ve been too shy
maybe i shouldn’t try
talk to me my shadow, soft and cold
hide me from that light i’ll never hold
in these arms, i hesitate out loud
you are the light of the moon, and i’m merely a cloud
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2. |
Oregon
04:35
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among the pines you stood against the firelight
with heavy heart i focused on your eyes that night
and under my own i hid a thousand blurring stars
i was reminded i could never leave your arms
your gentle gaze had seemed so distant from my own
each passing thought was of you as i dreamed alone
but since you have loved me i want only to be near
and try hard to hold you tight enough to keep you here
in your voice i hear the blood beneath my skin
and i feel purpose where my sorrow once had been
and i see you every time i look within
and i can’t believe that you are mine
and as you walk you mesmerize me with your grace
and love is all i feel as i float around your space
and when you look at me i am ice in your warm hands
and how you can love me i will never understand
i know it’s hard to put up with my tired words
and i may not be everything that you deserve
but your name’s the only word i never tire of
cause you are the one who showed me i deserve to love
in your voice i hear the blood beneath my skin
and i feel everything where nothing once had been
and i see you every time i look within
and i can’t believe that you are mine
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3. |
Mothing
03:11
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i reside by a sea of disorganized thoughts
where the tides wash and leave what i’ve had and i’ve lost
here i’m lonesomely trying to ward off the pain
of when we are outlying on separate planes
i wish i could join you
in silence the s’s and c’s of your whispers
cut right through my head as they do when i’m with you
but i cannot summon the strength to let go of them
i let you down cause i’m too weak to grow
i wish i were better
and so futile and poor are the words that i sing
like a moth on the floor with two weakening wings
but in your gentle eyes it’s an omen of fortune
that meaning’s all i wish my mind could look for
i wish i were better
i only want the best for you
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4. |
I Stare At Walls
02:46
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my body is my home, but i’m not of it
here against my will, but i’ll learn to love it
this fragile frame’s not broad enough to fit a man
in the mirror i delude myself, “this is who i am”
and my heart is acetone
and my mind is everclear
and the flame is overgrown
and the sea won’t interfere
and my fear is faint and slurred
and inapt to some degree
and my setting is absurd
and my self is not at ease
but although your limbs stay fastened to the floor
myopic self, you still have so much to live for
crushing my pills and dusting below my eyes
i will be beautiful, or at least i’ll try
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5. |
Oceantype
06:46
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i am not the ocean type
and yet i dream of being submerged
waking up tomorrow morning
with a conscience blank and free of words
i am not the ocean type
but i want salt eroding my two eyes
chloride filling up my lungs
dampening my tenuous replies
oh headlights, you will be my sun
sea floor, you will be my home
if you will let me sleep alone for a while
i am not the ocean type
and yet i dream of a coastal room
your shining face in every window
warming my surroundings like a womb
but in our solitary bed
i worry you’ll be worrying too much
and when i lose my novelty
that i’ll retreat into the water’s clutch
but ocean, don’t you let me in
cause i will only cause harm
remember i am always on my mind
i will play the lone observer
(you don’t need to hide your voice)
my voice will stay below a murmur
(no one else can hear you now)
diminishing without a word
i don’t want to hear this anymore
i don’t want to feel this anymore
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