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Tourmaline

from And Still - EP by Skyler Pia

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lyrics

i know you wish you weren’t, but you are still the life in every song
but i cannot write more than this cause my command of words is gone
and all i want’s to hold you, but i need to watch out for myself
and no, i’m not in pain, i just can’t feel my heart or anything else

and every night i see two lovers blurred beyond all recognition
he lost himself to misery, and she to her own intuition
a thousand strings lie severed in my room beside my packed suitcase
a thousand miles divided you from her, although i never changed

and i miss my best friend
and i miss my best friend

and the way you’d say my name as if it needed to be said
that doesn’t make me want to hear yours any more
and there’s this tremor in my heart that i
can’t stand to feel each moment
and i wonder if you feel that aching too
and i still hear the songs you wrote,
the ones i took to heart like parables
and now i barely trust a single line i sing
and god, i know this was unhealthy
but for all you claim was broken
how could you not see that my love hadn’t changed?

and do you think of me as a child,
as some fragile thing that cannot love
because i couldn’t be the strength you needed?
or do you think of me as a failure,
as the bridge that could not carry you
because i wasn’t built the way i should’ve?
or do you think of me as an invalid,
as someone on the precipice
of some awful fate i’ve set up for myself?
or do you think of me at all,
or were you already gone four months ago
while you were still the one thing i had left?
do you think of me?

but i could never hate you, even with the sorrow that you bring
and all i want is to hold you, but i know my arms won’t heal a thing

credits

from And Still - EP, released June 4, 2016

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Skyler Pia Portland, Oregon

skyler.pia@gmail.com

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